My Birthday Report

I had a great day on my birthday this year.  I spent the morning catching up on my journal reading and the afternoon cleaning.

BUT at night Rick and I went with our friends Amy and Gilbert out on the town.

We were going to go out to eat and bowling but all the restaurants were too crowded so we headed off to the bowling alley and decided we would munch there.

We bowled three games.  I never won, but I was never last.

My finger on my bowling hand is messed up , my bowling ball wouldn't even fit anymore, so I bowled with one from there.

As we were getting ready to leave they started up karaoke.....

I said " Oh I want to sing !"

Rick said, "No we are leaving"

I pouted and stomped my foot and told him it was MY BIRTHDAY!

He said, "ok one song."

I sang My Immortal by Evanescence.  The crowd seemed to like it.

I had a blast!

Ok about yesterday.

I cried at work.

This is very rare for me and I am so mad at myself for showing that.

But here is what happened.

They sent me out to do gas station even though I told them I had never been trained to use the machines and to set the gas pumps for people.

They gave me 15 minutes to learn everything and during that time there were only two cars for the training session.

As soon as I was left alone....yes by myself out there with no training.....All the pumps started filling up with people wanting to pump gas.

Every single pump was being used.

I was actually doing pretty good until I accidently set the wrong pump and since I was not shown did not know how to unset it.

I had two people screaming in my face.

They were very well dressed and I assume they were on their way to church and didn't want to be late because the stupid girl (me) didn't know what to do.

Yeah, their Christianity was really working.

I called into the store to request help and the manager sighed and said.  "What is your problem?"

I said "you just need to send help out here for me"

She was so aggrivated and told the other manager to go out and see what the problem was.

It was a small thing that would not have happened if I had been trained correctly.

I felt like such a stupid idiot.

And then the tears came out.

I hate when that happens.

I try so hard to do things right and when I don't that's it.

I promised myself that I would not cry again.

But it is too late, because it will be all over the store how I did.

Tomorrow I have to go out there again.

With no training

They don't care....... 

It doesn't help to refuse either because she will make me go out there.

Not only that but I have a certain amount of time to finish stocking the candy before they just make me put it up.

If it isn't organized on the cart the other candy girl gets hateful with me.

So yesterday I had to do the breaks for gas station which took an hour away from my candy time.

She sent me on my lunch break and said I could finish the candy after I got back.

When I went back in the cart was already put away and she said I didn't have time to finish because she needed me to check.

She had put the candy back onto the cart herself and took it to the back.

She just threw the candy on there and when I asked if I could go and straighten it out before I left she told me no, because I would be into overtime.

I asked if I could just go back real quick during my own time and fix it and she told me that I could not do it on my own time

She said she was my boss and if the other girl got mad she would just have to get over it.

Well....she is not the one that this girl will be hateful to because it isn't done to the way she wants it.

I like being home much better.

No stress, and no pressures.

Ok now that I have depressed one and all I will stop.

I really am ok I just don't know how to fix this.

I need to see my son.

His car is still in the shop.

I want to go and see him, or have him visit me.

He is without transportation.

Gotta go to bed and start all over again tomorrow.

I finished my Wolf picture and am now working on an under sea one.

I need to start writing my book again.

But for now I will find comfort in this song:by Martina McBride

by bAnyway - Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life building something from nothing One storm can come and blow it all away Build it anyway You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach and you know it might not ever come your way Dream it anyway Chorus: God is great, but sometimes life ain't good And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should But I do it anyway, I do it anyway This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today Believe it anyway You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away Love 'em anyway Repeat Chorus You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang Sing it anyway, sing it anyway I sing, I dream, I love, anyway xox Barbara