new job

Hi All

I went yesterday to turn in my paperwork . I am starting out as cashier.  I am so excited and a little nervous.  I don't like starting new jobs, it is like going to a new school where you don't know anyone yet.  The thing is , is that I am only going across the street from the restaurant I worked at for 7 years, so my time management will be the same.  Next week I will be extremely busy as I go for my training classes.  I have to go to San Antonio to attend.  I have class on Tues. night from 5-9 and then 9:15-11:15.  That will be company orientation and sacking.  Then Weds. I go here in Lytle for local orientation.  Thurs I go in from 5-9 for alcohol training,  Friday I go in for Checker I and Sarurday fpr Checker II.  I get paid while I am being trained so I will make a little bit of money.  Hopefully I will get plenty of hours with plenty of off time too.  Oh yeah, that is in the perfect world.  I will take what I can get for now and be happy.  I have so many friends and people who care about me.  I am truly blessed.  For these next couple of days I have off before starting all this I am going to try and get organized in the house.  I still have to go and buy me some khaki pants for work.  Well like I tell my son ODDAT.  Which means One day at a time.  It was so nice seeing Eric I miss him so much now that he lives in Austin.  But he loves it there and it is a much better place for him.  I will go visit him again soon and he can always come and see me,  gotta go clean this place and get ready for the day.  God Bless those who enter here and remember Jesus Loves You. Love, Barbara.  Be in prayer for my parents as they are traveling to Illinois tomorrow to attend a wedding. 

Oh yeah, and I went to the doctor for my hive situation and he said it was good that I came in because after your lips swell up it goes to your throat and can suffocate you.  He put me on steroids and benedryl.  It is getting better.  Those hives are awful.  I don't know what I had an allergic reaction to, I guess it could have been nerves or stress too.  I am getting better now, thank you God.

Jacobs Funeral

Well today was the funeral.  The funeral started at 10:00 am and wasn't over until 2:45.  Everyone involved did a super job.  David , his Dad was the first to speak and he told of their earliest memories of Jacob and contnued until the last day.  He said he wanted it to be a celebratuon of Jacobs life.  His friend Brittany sang a song that she and another friend of Jacobs wrote laste night.  When I see you in Heaven we will dance forever.  Two of the guys in his band sang a song about Rain.  His girlfriend Tyler read the poem I wrote.  Blake his friend and one of the guys in the accident spoke of his great friendship with Jacob and how this was his third accident he has had recently where God spared his life.  He knows God has something big for him to do.  HIs child hood friend got up and told about when they were 4 and his big sister Emily married them, convinced them they had to kiss and then went and told on them.  Jacob was loved by many people and no one wanted to say goodbye, but God wanted him back. 

Tomorrow I start my new job and I am a little nervous about it, but I know I will do fine.  My son is still here and leaves tomorrow so I need to go feed him and spend every moment I can with him.

A note, I don't know why but I have been getting hives every night around 7-9.  It lasts all night and keeps me up with itchy skin.  Tonight as I type this my upper lip has swollen up for some reason.  I am thinking it is probably just my nerves and that I finally stop for the day and need to focus on other things,  If it doesn.t get better soon I guess I will break down and go to the doctor.  Until tomorrow...nite Barbara

Job HUnting Is Over!

Today was a sad day it was the viewing of my nephew Jacob.  It was so hard to actually say goodbye.  My son came home for the funeral and I got to hug and kiss him.  He is my world and I thank God for him.  I do have good news...I got a job!!!!  I start Weds. at our local grocery store which is right across the street from my last job.  I am looking forward to a new beginning.  Tomorrow is the funeral and I have to get up early.  One  more day of sadness and then I will begin my new job and things will get better.  Hopefully I will have happy things to write about.  For now, I am going to go and hug my son.

We'll Hold You In Heaven

Last night I wrote a poem to give to Jacobs' parents.  It helps me to write out my feelings. Jacob will be missed by many people.

                             We'll Hold You In Heaven

Jacob at the very beginning we loved you.

As we made plans to hold you and love you.

Completely loved and adored you.

Our hearts are now broken, we miss your smile.

But so suddenly it happened, and now you are gone.

 

Death has taken you away, but your memory lives on.

And out tears fall like rain, we have so much pain.

Nothing could be done to stop this, you had to go.

I know God called you into his arms that sad day.

Each day we had you here with us was special.

Loving you through all your childhood years.

 

Constantly we will remeber you, all the joy you gave.

And we will hold you in Heaven someday.

Right now we still have work to do.

The time for us to finish was God has planned.

Even though we didn't get the chance to say good-bye.

Remember that we'll hold you in Heaven someday.

 

It happened so fast and we miss you so.

Thanks to Jesus, we will see you in Heaven again.

 

I hope it helps them, but really nothing eases the hurt of losing a child.  

 

Jacob

It only gets worse I'm afraid.  I was cleaning out my bedroom trying to get organized and found a marine pin that belonged to my husbands father who we lost over ten years ago.  When I went outside my husband came up to me and said that one of his friends had just called that there had been a motorcyle accident in town.. He said it was three guys on motorcycles.  Well since none of my family owned a motorcycle I was saddened but just thought, oh that is too bad.  Then he said that his friend thought that one of the guys was Jacob Carter.  Well that is my nephew and I thought, no Jacob doesn't have a motorcycle, but no one else in town has that name.  I called my sister-in-law, my husbands sister and when she answered the phone I knew it was our Jacob.  I am still in shock and don't know any of the details yet only that he got his leg torn off and his motorcycle looked like an old junk drawer poured out after a fire.  Jacob did not live through this accident.  He was only 19 years old.  His Mom and Dad and sister Emily and brother Shaun are devistated.  His mom feels guilty because after many beggings from Jacob a month ago she co signed on the note for his motorcyle.  She feels if she had continued to say no that this would not have happened.  I don't know why it happened, but I do know that when it is your time God calls you home.  Anyone reading this please say a prayer for those who are left behind: Beverly, his mom, David, his Dad, Emily, his sister, Shaun his brother and baby Brendan who doesn't understand any of this being as he is only three years old.  They were actually planning to have a birthday party for Brendan tomorrow.  It is so sad.  I wish I knew what to do to help, but I guess there is really nothing because the only thing that would make it all better would be if this was just a bad nightmare.  I still have not told my own son, his cousin as he is living in another city and at work.  I will tell him tonight.  Thank you for taking the time to read this and your thoughts, and prayers are appreciated.

my little sister caution this is sad

This is my guardian angel. People say we look a lot alike.  She was beautiful inside and out.

I just realized what day it is.  My little sisters birthday.  She died of cancer 3 years ago on Oct.21.  She was only 35 and had two small children ages 6 and 9.  I miss her so much.  She was my best friend.  Even though she is gone now I can still feel her around me and it is wierd because now that she is in Heaven it seems she is right here with me sometimes.  I wish we could have had her here longer.  She was such a terirfic person.  She worked with children as a coach.  She was awesome and went the second and third mile with them.  She made her children the coolest scrapbooks and it helps them to remember her.  I miss her so much.  Cancer is such a hateful thing.  It turned my little sister Christi from a vivacious woman into an old person.  She had the most beautiful blonde hair and it was so hard on her to lose it.  The other day I heard a song by Rascal Flatts about a girls who dies of cancer.  I can not listen to that song.  It makes me so sad.  I love all their other songs.  I bought their new CD and I have to leave the room when that song is on.  Happy Birthday Christi I love you so much and always will...your big sister Barbara

still looking for job or maybe not maybe i'll become a writer

I am so glad to be away from the rat race of the pig .  That is my nickname for the resturant I quit after 7 years of faithful, honest dependable service.  I miss my customers.  I used to spoil the heck out of them.  Maybe they miss me too.  Anyway I was thinking while I was off work I should write a book about the place and all the people I have met and worked with there.  It would be a best seller for sure.  You wouldn't believe all the things that have gone on there.  What do you think?  Anyone reading this ever been a waitress?  It is hard work but can be very rewarding and fun. Check back from time to time and maybe I will tell you all a few stories about the place.  Also if anyone would like to talk to other waitresses from all over my favorite place to go is kiss my bitter ass.com.  I have made a few friends there.  I also like to paint, sing and write.  I like to read what other people write about too.  I have a son that is 21 and just finished chef school and is already working as a chef.  I went to go and see him for a few days in Austin and we had a blast.  We even went swimming in the rain. HOpefully I will get some feedback from someone. Until next time...exwaitress angel