Thursday, October 26, 2006

Trip To Walmart

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out of the store, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter from the store that Mrs. Fenton received yesterday:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion  in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you in the near future. We have documented all the incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All the complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" .... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began to cry  and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror,   and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting
department, asked the  clerk if he knew where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
and loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browse through,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile,then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"



mrsm711 said...

Is this true?  Seems unbelievable. LOLOLOLOL     Tracy

rbrown6172 said...

those are pretty funny.

pharmolo said...

Heard these a while back, but still extremely funny

lsfp1960 said...

too funny !!!!  How's your eye ?   Linda in WA

plieck30 said...

I've read these but they are still funny. I really like the book about the girl who lived in Wal*Mart and had her baby there. Paula

am4039 said...

isn't that all normal stuff? I always do that when I go to Walmart. LOL funny

emabecmar said...

lol, that is too funny.

butterflies4me04 said...

BOO! HEY! I missed you so very much the past 3 months ... but hey it's great to be back and I'm not going anywhere for a very very long time .... well maybe I should not say tha because x-mas season is coming up and it gets REAL crazy at work ... not that it is not right now! LOL! :)

I just wanted to drop a hello and let you know I am back!


lisa41076 said...

Barbara, I was reading a book today and it said when you have a stye to apply a gold ring to it, something to remember I guess, seems weird though, Love You Lisa

ally123130585918 said...

I enjoyed reading this entry ~ to start with I believed it was true lol ~ Ally

radar446 said...

What a funny way to start my morning...thanks for the smiles!


jeanno43 said...

Lol, very funny.  We had a Mr. Fenton in our family, a relation of Mike's.

mtrib2 said...

It seems like mr. fenton wants to send his wife a message, lol .    mark