Twas the Night Before Jland

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Jland <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

There were friends writing emails and journaling all through the land.

The e-mails were stacked in their boxes with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
Rick on the rooftop putting up shingles and me at my computer enjoying a snack.
We just settled down.to get ready to mingle.

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the door to see what was the matter.
To a new page my computer flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My computer jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
 
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my computer called them by name;
'Now Linda! Now Robin!', my speaker did reel;
'On Marla! Noelle!' Santa started to squeal!
'Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!'

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my 'Ram',
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my screen a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He looked at my hard drive, and added a 'program',
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with some glitter he threw

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest version of Netscape.
The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.

Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!
He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
'Happy journaling to all, and to all a good byte!'