Sunday, August 6, 2006

It's Hot In Here

* It 's been so Hot.....

All the corn started popping and flying through the air. The cows thought it was snowing, and they froze to death......... : (

The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper ......... WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs........... : )

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

Even the sun is looking for shade.

The birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were walkin'.

I saw a fire hydrant begging for a dog to pee on it

CAMPBELL SOUP CO. has changed the directions on its cans to, "just pour and eat".

Water in public swimmiing pools is evaporating so fast that the children are being encouraged to swim in the deep end and to ignore the, "no peeing" rule.

Even the careless weeds are dying....do you know how long it took me to grow those?
 
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. (Amanda)

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

It's noon in August, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. (Except maybe Mosie who would just ride a motorcycle)

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

 "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for all the children under the age of 6."

What To Do in the Heat

Whatever you decide to do.....DO NOT GO OUTSIDE!!!!!

 

13 comments:

redpoppy007 said...

Thanks for the smile, good ones:)
90 here today..that is cool for a change.

ally123130585918 said...

Loved this one very funny ~ thanks for the laugh ~ Ally

mikev009 said...

LMAO Barb.  ~  Mike

lsfp1960 said...

Those are good ones. I actually have sunburned thru my clothes.  It's 90* out in my carport and I have all that left over stuff to put away.  Where are all my helpers?????   Linda in WA

pharmolo said...

Laughing myself silly here in boiling temperatures of 54F this evening LOL

radar446 said...

Very appropriate!  I just found out that carbonation tingles in a bad way when a laugh forces it out of your nose.  Great way to start my day, Thanks!

Greg

luddie343 said...

Nice to laugh again, I needed this - thanks Barbara!  CATHY http://journals.aol.com/luddie343/DARETOTHINK/    

lv2trnscrb said...

that was cute :) it cooled down quite a bit here; almost needed a sweater when we were taking a walk tonight

betty

am4039 said...

lol great stuff

lisa41076 said...

Barbara, you are so funny !!!!!! Have a good Monday, Hugs Lisa

tpiez4me said...

Where oh WHERE do you come up with this stuff???

queenb8261 said...

Yep...It's sure been hot. Winter is just around the corner
Hugs, Barb

shadierush said...

I remember winter, but only in that strange dreamy way!
Shadie