Sunday, August 27, 2006

Where's Barbara? She's Back! Enjoy!

A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new preacher in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"

BACK SEAT DRIVER Lisa this ones for you

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:

"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator " she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

 A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says.

"She got in the back-seat by mistake."   LOL!!!!

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together

. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

 She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?

" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.

 She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knocking on wood."

 She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

For all of those of you who missed me...I'm back!!!!!  And before you comment...no I did not go away.  I have been lurking around like the rest of you LOLOLOL Barbara

13 comments:

fasttrack58 said...

too funny!! I like the first one...
glad you are back! now I am off to bed, just came to see who was still lurking about...
Linda :)

ally123130585918 said...

lol I liked the first one as well ~ Welcome back ~ Ally

emabecmar said...

LOL, they were so funny. My favorite is the 3 sister's. Have a great day. (((hugs)))
Cindy

nelishianatl said...

These were so funny.  Thank you for starting my day with a smile.  Yes, you were missed!  Believe that!  
Nelishia

rayne1123 said...

very funny  

queenb8261 said...

I don't know about you, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.
Have a good one. Hugs, Barb

lv2trnscrb said...

loved the first one the best :)

thanks for the Monday funnies :)

betty

eternallife23 said...

When I first read this I thought it was so funny. Thanks for giving me a second laugh. :)
*Louise*

lsfp1960 said...

Those are good ones, Barbara.  A good way to start a new week.   Linda in WA

lifes2odd said...

Those were good! :-)

luddie343 said...

Thanks for the constant smiles, Barb!  xoxo CATHY

randlprysock said...

I can see me doing that!  Like on all this cold medication, oh ya! Where is my steering wheel???!!  LOL, help!  Funnee!  Hugs,
Lisa

am4039 said...

oh barbara always funny stuff. Thanks for the laughs.