Sunday Funnys On Monday

Get What You Pay For

ON THEIR WAY home from Sunday worship, Willy and Wanda were complaining about their church—the pews were too hard, the sermon too long and the organ too loud.

In the backseat, little Wally quietly listened to all his parents’ complaints. Finally, he piped up, “What do you expect for a dollar?”

 

You May Be in a Country Church if...

• • PRAYERS ABOUT the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
• • The pastor is wearing boots.
• • High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling.
• • There is at least one pledge of two calves in the annual stewardship drive.
• • The minister never has to buy any meat or vegetables.
• • When it rains, everyone is smiling.
• • The church directory doesn’t need last names.
• • Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
• • Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.

That’s a Bright Idea

A COUPLE OF country bumpkins, Harry and Larry, ran away from home. Since it was dark, they carried a flashlight to find their way.

Eventually, they came to a large body of water. “I know how we can get across,” Harry said. “I’ll flash the light on the water, and you can walk across on the beam.”

Larry shook his head. “I may not be very smart, but I know that’s not going to work. As soon as I get halfway across, you’ll turn off the light.”

 

English Major

EMPLOYER: Sure I can give you a job. Start by sweeping out the store.

Employee-to-be: But, sir...I’m a college graduate.

Employer: That’s OK. I’ll show you how.