Wednesday, February 22, 2006

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children.


7 Reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.  
The  teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a  human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was  very small.

The  little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  

Irritated,  the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it  was physically impossible.

The  little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".  
The  teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"  
The  little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".

A  Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while  they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each  child's work.

As  she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked  what the drawing was.

The  girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."

The  teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."  

Without  missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied,  "They will in a minute."

 


A  Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her  five and six year olds.

After  explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she  asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our  brothers and sisters?"

Without  missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered,  "Thou shall not kill."

 


One  day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes  at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had  several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her  brunette head.
She  looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your  hairs white, Mom?"

Her  mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and  make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."  

The  little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,  "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"  

 


The  children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to  persuade them each to  buy a copy of the group picture.  

"Just  think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up  and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,  He's a doctor.'

A  small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the  teacher, she's dead."

 


A  teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying  to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my  head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn  red in the face."

"Yes,"  the class said.

"Then  why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position  the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A  little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."  

 


The  children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary  school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of  apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:  

"Take  only ONE. God is watching."

Moving  further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a  large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A  child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the  apples

  

 

  


8 comments:

krspkrmmom said...

OMG...those are all too funny!  I laughed out loud at all of them, especially the last one.  That's something my kids would do...lol.

Annie =)

rocketman685434 said...

LOL great jokes.

lv2trnscrb said...

Loved these :)

betty

jckfrstross said...

i love these too funny:)

Deb

queenb8261 said...

Good ones!
Barb

lifes2odd said...

So cute!! :-)

am4039 said...

those were great, I laughed out loud at all of them.  Thanks

mtrib2 said...

Those were one's I have never heard before.    Enjoyed them.   mark