Thursday, April 6, 2006

More Redneck

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF....

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. LOL not yet.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. now that is just sad.
Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. PU!
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. Not me, only once but can anyone say Jerry Springer? LOL
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. Eww!
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, Gentlemen, start your engines.
You take a six-pack cooler to church.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. We do have a fridge in the shop. But also one inside.  There was a time though...
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Okay now stop laughing and go do something constructive like a nap!

Have a super day U guys! Barbara 

7 comments:

randlprysock said...

Oh stop it!  I am laughing so hard.  Man, I really think I married one.  Lol.  I love him though.  Hugs,
Lisa

tpiez4me said...

Seriously...I DO have a wedding photo of me with a toothpick in my mouth! LOL!!!
and still no duct tape in this one!!!
Sharon -

butterflies4me04 said...

OMG! You are too funny! All these entries in one day! You're killing me! :)

Theresa

mikev009 said...

LMAO.  That was good.  ~ Mike

trickeytricky said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! You are cracking me up!!

Amanda :)
http://journals.aol.com/trickeytricky/CountryMyKindaLivin

mtrib2 said...

My Mom did tell me that it was a cold seat on winter mornings using the "privey" and the Congression Record was the source of TP.   Thankfully mine is a thing of the past.    mark

queenb8261 said...

Sadly, I know some of these people.
Barb