Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Brain Tired? More Thoughts To Thunk

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" and who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

If you borrow money from pessimists do they expect to get paid back?


7 comments:

stansgirl2004 said...

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. <~~~~~~~~LMAO
Hugs, Marina

robinngabster said...

Makes ya say hmmmmmmmmm.

terra19728 said...

I loved this!

Terra

jckfrstross said...

I loved this lol thanks for sharing

Deb

am4039 said...

Those were great and they put a smile on my face.  Thanks for sharing.

mtrib2 said...

More laughs   mark

dellen219 said...

My sweet friend Shawn sent me a couple of your journal entries, the ones like this - thanks for the laughs!  Especially the one about the OBGYN, just had a visit recently and so that one especially hit the funny bone!  I just started in jland this week
DEE