Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Things You Learn From Raising A Boy

RAISING BOYS

  1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.  house 4 inches deep.

  2 If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with skateboards, they can ignite.      


3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape .
  It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread   paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.


5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.     


6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's  already too late.


8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even  though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.


10. Certain Lego's will pass through the  digestive tract of a 4-year old  Boy.


11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12. Super glue is forever.


13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still  can't walk on water.


14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15. VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials   show they do.


16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do  not like ovens.


20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.


21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.


23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake  fluid.


And that's why God made Women...to make all the boys large and small BEHAVE!!!!

Barbara

9 comments:

robinngabster said...

I just saw this somewhere...it is cute!

queenb8261 said...

Check out the same list over at my journal.  
http://journals.aol.com/queenb8261/DiaryofaMadwoman/entries/1021
I added my own 2 cents.  LOL
Barb

stansgirl2004 said...

Oh lord I can see Nicholas doing all of those things
I'm in trouble Hugs, Marina

lv2trnscrb said...

this was great! Oh the joys of a boy :)

betty

zosche973 said...

That was great, Barb....very funny, and so true! But my Fav is number 24! I can just see a certain J-Lander trying that exact thing......hmm....oh, nevermind! lol
And the one about the 'dizzy cat, throwing up it's body weight' concerns me....for
the cat, i mean; I didn't know that; Thanx! ~Diane~
http://journals.aol.com/dizarra/StorysFromtheCityTalesFromtheSea

terra19728 said...

Very true

Terra

lsfp1960 said...

My boy didn't do all those things but some of them ring a bell of those years thirty years ago when he was a 4 yr old.  There's was nothing there about toliet paper...his favorite trick was taking the end of the toliet paper and heading off thru the house at a dead run.  Then he'd go to the bathroom at the other end of the house and do the same thing.  I think our house was one of few that got T.P'd both inside and out.   Linda in Washington state

randlprysock said...

This one is way funny!  And oh how true, Hugs, signed by a mommy of TWO boys.
Lisa

mtrib2 said...

I hope not all of these were written from experience.    mark