Things You Learn From Raising A Boy

RAISING BOYS

  1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.  house 4 inches deep.

  2 If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with skateboards, they can ignite.      

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape .  It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread   paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.     

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's  already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even  though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the  digestive tract of a 4-year old  Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still  can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials   show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do  not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake  fluid.

And that's why God made Women...to make all the boys large and small BEHAVE!!!!

Barbara