Sunday, November 20, 2005


I am so sad today....

I just can not get into the Christmas spirit this year.  I don't have the money I have had in years past to spend on presents and I am getting depressed about it.  I don't care if I get anything or not. I just want to be able to give presents. 

I will not be able to see my son this year for Thanksgiving either becasue of work and his work.  This will be my first year away from the one person I am most Thankful for...:(

I just wish the holidays would go away and I would have a year to save for them.

My husband has been really grumpy too.  He took a week off for his vacation and could not afford to go hunting.  What a bear.

Last night he started yelling at me about the house, which is clean but he does this to pick a fight.  I tried talking to him and he yelled at me that he did not want to hear about my job and how hard I work because he works hard too and he didn't even get to go hunting because we have not money.

I told him fine I wouldn't talk to him any more......

I am just so sad today and don't know how I am going to be able to give my family gifts this year.  I can't even afford to buy food.

This is hard on me becasue I see all these families at work who do not have jobs and are on foodstamps and eat like royalty.

We have been eating the same chili for three days now.

Oh well never mind.....I am too sad today

Not usual for me........Barbara 


rjet33 said...

Dang, must be something in the air, eh?  We are in the same boat financially, so I can certainly empathize with you.  I, too, do not like to receive, but like to give and am unable to this year. ::sigh::  Financial strain has broken up many a good marriage.  My Hubby used to spend a small fortune on his hunting trips when we lived in Colorado.  Those little excursions are good for them like our little outings are.  Do something together.  It does not have to cost money.  Take a walk around the neighborhood or something, go to a nearby park to walk.  Take a drive looking at the Fall foliage.  We used to take off for a drive to the mountains when we lived just outside of Denver.  That ALWAYS made me feel better. :)  I pray things get better for you real soon.


springangel235 said...

Hi there, I was invited to see your journal by Susan.  A good friend of mine.  I hope to be a friend to you name is Joyce.  I think the holidays give us all the blues here and there...I have them due to my Dad is not here to share them with us anymore.  Everyone has something that can cause those blues.  You need to do what Susan said...get out...take that walk...fresh air does wonders...think positive too.  I am a strong believer in prayer and positive thoughts...hope they help you and you will be in my thoughts for all good to come your way soon...lots of hugs and love,

amy122389 said...

I have, indeed, been there before.  Have you checked with your church for the Food Pantry?  Most churches have them....  and as for Christmas.... one Christmas we bought all of our presents from the Dollar Store.  They really do have some nice things there... AND...check out Freecycle in your area.  There's no better price than free.  Nothing says a gift has to be brand new, right?  :)

I hope things get better for you!!


mtrib2 said...

I got an email from Susan to visit your journal.   I have been feeling depressed about life's problems so I can appreciate your dismay.  Our situations are different so I will try to explain my attempt to relieve my burdens.  I have wanted to know what it means to be a religious person.   It seems to me that the reason people worship is to have a sense of purpose in their lives.   To me, that means looking at things as if I didn't even exist.  By taking myself out of the thoughts in my mind, I try to see what other's see in me.  Am I a bad person?  Do I come off to people as being arrogant?  It is not how I perceive others, but how do they perceive me.  It has nothing to do with church, or what religion I believe in, but with the spirit that can be found in anyone.  I have been in a relationship where my girlfriend continually put me down about my financial status, the home I live in, my personality, and motivation.  Yet I keep thinking I could change to win her acceptance of me.   She continually made me jealous and hinted that she was interested in other men, though we had relationship.   I have not been in a relationship now for many years, but I would never be in a relationship again with someone who treated me like that.   How I perceive myself is something that is truthful to me.   I don't want to put up false appearances about myself.   If I don't have financial success, then I accept that.   Money should not be the measure of me as a person.     mark

aljes12 said...

Oh hun, I am so sorry you are feeling low. Holidays seem to do that to a lot of people because you WANT to do so much for them during this time of year and these days I think money is a bit tighter for everyone. There are ways to be able to give to everyone. (but just a side note, the holidays are not about giving and recieving gifts, it is about LOVE, LIFE and FAMILY. So if family can not understand that you are short on funds them they are not worthy of gifts) BUT at the same time. It is the time of year you feel more giving and WANT to give. So a few idea's...there are ways to give to everyone on your list without having to spend a lot. Trust me. I was feeling the same way as you about it because sense Alex who is the bread winner of the family has been unable to go to work. I got my mind thinking of ways to still give with lil' money coming in. Baking is ALWAYs a good way to give. Making cookies, candy, ginger bread houses etc. Also get things at your nearest doller store to make gift baskets and care packages. Or go to a craft store.
You will just have to get creative. I have a few idea's for you i can share. And they can make wonderful gifts. I am not talking tiolet paper roll angels...they are gifts that people will enjoy. Let me know. You have helped me a lot and so I will be happy to return the favor. Take care and "chin up" as Charlotte said to Wilber, Lol! (I LOVE Charlette's Web! ;-) )

your friend, Jessica

stansgirl2004 said...

Looks like you've gotten a lot of good advice already so all
I can offer is an ear and a big cyber hug. It will get better
it always does right?
Hugs, Marina

lv2trnscrb said...

Hugs to you, Barbara. This is such a stressful time of year. People expect so much and then feel so disappointed. We need to go back to the true meaning of Christmas. The birth of our King. That is something to rejoice in :)