Words of Wisdom?

We no longer believe that people can change themselves into animals, yet the world is filled with men who make hogs of themselves and asses as well.

Why aren't elephants allowed on beaches?                             They can't keep their trunks up!!

I found a donkey with an IQ of 138.  He hasn't any friends because nobody likes a smart ass.

Animals are very important in a woman's life.  She needs 4 animals in her world to survive. A jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, a mink in her closet and a jackass to pay for it all.

This sign seen in a laundry room: Ladies leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Sign in the window of a restaurant:                                      Wanted man to wash dishes and two waitresses

Notice at club advertising propler attire: A sports jacket may be worn to dinner-but no jeans.

In a cemetary there is a sign that says: People are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

I told the waiter at a restaurant that my soup tasted funny.  He said well go ahead and laugh.

I asked the waiter, "will the spagetti I ordered be long?" He said, " I don't know we never measured it"

Executive Ability- the art of getting all the credit for all the hard work everyone else does.

What do you say to that? Barbara